Thank you? A hangover story

I'm not in the habit of thanking things. Thanking people? Sure, in the moment of their nicety. But that whole think about or write down one thing you're grateful for every day is not my bag. I certainly don't want to be that person who squeals at the sun at 5am on a weekday, "Isn't it a wonderful day?! I love life, don't you!" That attitude is so bright it's blinding, and it pretty much pisses me off. But I wonder if I wouldn't be so angry all the time if I focused my thoughts on things I'm grateful for. Not that I'm an angry person or anything...

Well, maybe I am. This morning on my commute, I grunted rather loudly, "The fuck are you doing" to a sweet young girl on a pastel blue bike with a fucking-wicker-basket when she slowed down next to me. I barked at her because I didn't want to be responsible for her falling over like an idiot and hurting herself. I also barked at her because she basically whispered like a shy little fairy, "e-e-excuse me" when she was wobbling aside my stride; her timidity annoyed me. Why? She's acting like a shrinking violet in that moment to avoid irritating anyone, when simultaneously if she just spoke up, I'd get the message that she's coming by and I wouldn't give a shit.

That's not true; I would still give a shit. I wanted to be angry this morning. It was a beautiful morning: sun shining, breeze blowing, temperature mild, the air smelled like grass and water, the trees were green and my shoes were comfortable. But instead of focusing on that, I let my stomach churn with vile and spit acid at the first thing that came in contact with me.

Maybe instead, I just shouldn't drink during the week. A hangover is terrible for morale.

Oh, you wouldn't say VAGINA in front of women? Silencing Rep Brown and the Vagina Monologues performance on the steps of the MI Capitol!

VAGINAS TAKE BACK THE CAPITOL!

Vagina. While I don't normally write about current events, this one needs an exception. Representative Lisa Brown was banned indefinitely from speaking on the House floor of MI for using the word "vagina" in her part of the conversation about the anti-abortion bill on the docket in Michigan. Well, I suppose it used to be a conversation, but now it's not. This is anti-democracy if I ever saw it. 

Vagina. Yeah, it's no onomatopoeia, it's kind of a harsh sounding word. But it's the only word that anyone could use to actually talk about what the anti-abortion bill would be affecting in the physical body of the constituents of Michigan, of the United States. 

Vagina. She says it after making a poignant point about her Jewish faith's view of saving a mother over saving a fetus in utero if the mother's life is in danger. The anti-abortion bill bans all abortions by doctors that would consider it against their Christian (or otherwise religious) upbringing to perform abortions, regardless of the circumstances. Her point is that she's not up there on the podium requesting that her Jewish faith be mandated to be incorporated into medical practices on all women.

Vagina. This point is not being highlighted or even discussed much, but it is the important one. Her concluding sentence is what's getting attention: "I'm very flattered that you all are so interested in my vagina, but no means no." 

Vagina. You can see Brown's speech here, it's just a couple of minutes and it's really good. Yay, youtube!: http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=BGS9vo1avVg#!


Vagina.Members of the MI House respond in varying degrees to Lisa Brown's ban. My favorite, on The Daily Mail coverage of the story, is this quote by this guy:

"'What she said was offensive,' state Rep. Mike Callton, R-Nashville, told the Detroit News. 'It was so offensive, I don't even want to say it in front of women. I would not say that in mixed company,' he said."

Vagina. So, when you, Mr Callton, say "mixed company," you mean women? He's implying here that he would say the word "vagina" in front of other men, but in front of women, it's not appropriate? What are we, NOT the bearers of vaginas? What are we, children? 

Vagina. OH. But where was the ban for Mr. Gene Seaman of Texas when he proposed his infamous Viagra Amendment? He was joking around to make a point about health care coverage for women's health, and asks the question, "what if a man doesn't get his Viagra, maybe THAT's a catastrophic event!" He then goes on to PRETEND TO BE AN ERECTION and mockingly compare cervical cancer to not getting it up to prove to everyone that mandated health care is ridiculous.  

Vagina. While in a vacuum, it's kinda funny, because haha c'mon, Seaman?, this just shows the double standard. Which is NOT funny. You can see a group of guys behind him talking, not even batting an eye. The speaker of the house at the end just kinda laughs in his hands. A female representative in Michigan says the word vagina, the medically correct term in reference to the regulation in question, and the speaker of the house bans her from speaking again. 

Vagina. What. The. Fuck?

Vagina. But tonight, this is very exciting. A friend of mine works for the V-Day campaign, and told me yesterday that tonight, her, Eve Ensler and so far 11 female political representatives are going to perform the Vagina Monologues on the steps of the Michigan Capitol building at 5pm.

Vagina. They are: 

Rep. Lisa Brown (D-West Bloomfield)
Sen. Rebekah Warren (D-Ann Arbor)
Sen. Gretchen Whitmer (D-East Lansing)
Rep. Barb Byrum (D- Onondaga)
Rep. Stacy Erwin Oakes (D-Saginaw)
Rep. Dian Slavens (D- Canton Township)
Rep. Rashida Tlaib (D- Detroit)
Rep. Vicki Barnett (D-Farmington Hills)
Rep. Joan Bauer (D-Lansing)
Rep. Ellen Cogen Lipton (D-Huntington Woods)
Rep. Maureen Stapleton (D-Detroit)

Vagina. If you're reading this, and you're in Michigan, and you want to be a part of this, you can find the information on their facebook event, VAGINAS TAKE BACK THE CAPITOL!