I hate politics, or Todd "Legitimate Rape" Akin

Guess what I got to wake up to this morning?

6:10am.
NPR alarm
"It seems to me, first of all, from what I understand from doctors, that's really rare. If it's a legitimate rape, the female body has ways to try to shut that whole thing down." --Rep Todd Akin

You can read more about it on Jezebel here, on Slate here and on NPR's site here. NPR has a transcript of the interview; Jezebel and Slate have reporting/opinion pieces.

I woke UP to this. On the first day of my period no less. My body and mind felt like it was rejecting itself with rage.

But why am I mad? Ooo-oh-oh-hoh-hoh.

1) I'm upset because there is the expectation that (even wanna be) public servants have the people's best interest in mind. This expectation is blown clear out of the water with the above statement because A) there is no such thing as the distinction "legitimate" when it comes to rape and he's not-so-subtley insinuating that those thousands of women who are impregnated through a rape weren't actually raped since "science" and B) fuck you.

2) I'm befuddled because there is a minimum expectation that if someone who is, or wants to be, in a position to affect legislation that affects our literal, physical lives then they will do a little research before making blatantly incorrect statements on National Public Radio.

3) I'm fucking furious because politicians actively affect people, including me, through policy based on ignorance. And I can't just disagree with them. I have to abide by the law, lest I pay a fine to the gov't with which I disagree and/or I go to jail.

4) I'm peeved because there's nothing I can really do about any of this. The only real thing I can do is provide support for survivors, keep the discussion alive with people I know and never, EVER vote for these ignoramuses. 

At least Obama is a boss.

The president held an impromptu conference about Akins' comments, saying "Rape is rape. And the idea that we should be parsing and qualifying and slicing what types of rape we are talking about doesn't make sense to the American people and certainly doesn't make sense to me. So what I think these comments do underscore is why we shouldn't have a bunch of politicians, a majority of whom are men, making health care decisions on behalf of women."

I wish what he said here would actually happen. More women in politics, please?

Long Way to Happy - Pink

Obsession in Session!

Obsessing about meaningless shit 

is the second most hated thing I hate. 

(The first is grocery shopping. The first-first is injustice! Grr!)

Acceptable/healthy fixations:
Fascination with a famous writer. :) Yay, happy heart-brain stimulation!
Fantasizing about moving to Portland. :) Woohoo! Future mountainous lovely times, ahoy!
Looking up grad school programs in multiple disciplines. :) Goodness, don't these opportunities look fun and challenging!

But it's those hours-to-years of mental neon signs that blink...and blink and blink until you feel crazy and want to go home, but you're all ready home because your head is your only true home. The ones labeled "You Suck!" or "Ex-boyfriend" and "How to really fix your posture this time" or "Why are you so fat?!" that crash my mental clarity party really ride my nerves.

Examples of the most annoying fucking reoccurring thought-binges:
1) I've eaten too many fig newtons again. ...
You've eaten too many fucking fig newtons again! Fucking fig newtons, you'll never realize your dreams! Vow to never eat again. Cue self-hatred. Blame your complicated relationship with your mother on fig newtons. Realize nothing has anything to do with fig newtons. Eat fig newtons again because you ate almost half the package yesterday, so naturally you finish it off today. Whyyyyyy?! Repeat until you get the good sense to stop buying fig newtons (which is usually after day 4.)

2) My nose is huge. ...
Your nose is huge, bitch! Your enormous schnoz is the reason no one could possibly ever love you! Look up angioplasty procedures. Cue self-hatred. Realize a nose job will not solve your problems. Research dignified big noses, like those on Native Americans. Notice they all look good on dudes. You look like a dude. Fuck, your life is screwed, you look like a dude. Remember that's not a big deal, who are you to judge beauty norms and apply them to your totally warped sense of self? Fuck it, when I turn 40 I'm going under the knife. Go home and have a beer, sheesh. (Also avoid mirrors for the next 24 hrs.)

3) My ex-boyfriends probably all date supermodels in Ph.D. programs. ...
You're never getting anywhere in life and that's why you were so hostile, they deserve those Dr. McPerfect-Specimens. Look up ex-boyfriends on facebook. Cue bloodhound research skills when you realize he doesn't have a public profile. Find the one that dumped you for that girl at HIS university married him and she looks exactly like you. Luckily you love your boyfriend otherwise this would be hell. Remember he's the greatest guy ever, but still feel that lingering bear trap of need-to-know! in the back of your head for days.


These bullshit* pacing back and forth in the big vacant room of my head that leaves no space for anything else Q: What's black and white and red all over? A: My brain (gray matter, heard of it?) after I've had an aneurism from freaking out for 7 straight hours about the cellulite shadows on my arms in that one vacation picture or how I'll be hump-backed in 6 months if I sit at this desk for another minute...err, another 6 months.(Yeah, logic isn't my forte in this state of mind.)

Oh, want to hear the best part? Meta-obsession!

"What does that mean?" you say? It means that I have been researching the possible reasons I do this constantly. There's no way I can be normal (I say with an obvious hint of sarcasm because of-course-I'm-normal and a slight rise in tone at "mal" just in case you don't agree?)

Possible disorders:
OCD
Anxiety Disorder
ADHD
Paranoid Schitzofrenia

Possible physical causes of depressive and anxious thoughts: 
Hypothyroidism
Too much damn coffee
Lack of excercise
Unclean colon
Excess consumption of artificial sweetener

This doesn't really relate to what I'm talking about but here's some Guns N Roses!

Bad Obsession

* I contend that "these bullshit" is plural, similar to "these data" or "these moose".

Oh, you wouldn't say VAGINA in front of women? Silencing Rep Brown and the Vagina Monologues performance on the steps of the MI Capitol!

VAGINAS TAKE BACK THE CAPITOL!

Vagina. While I don't normally write about current events, this one needs an exception. Representative Lisa Brown was banned indefinitely from speaking on the House floor of MI for using the word "vagina" in her part of the conversation about the anti-abortion bill on the docket in Michigan. Well, I suppose it used to be a conversation, but now it's not. This is anti-democracy if I ever saw it. 

Vagina. Yeah, it's no onomatopoeia, it's kind of a harsh sounding word. But it's the only word that anyone could use to actually talk about what the anti-abortion bill would be affecting in the physical body of the constituents of Michigan, of the United States. 

Vagina. She says it after making a poignant point about her Jewish faith's view of saving a mother over saving a fetus in utero if the mother's life is in danger. The anti-abortion bill bans all abortions by doctors that would consider it against their Christian (or otherwise religious) upbringing to perform abortions, regardless of the circumstances. Her point is that she's not up there on the podium requesting that her Jewish faith be mandated to be incorporated into medical practices on all women.

Vagina. This point is not being highlighted or even discussed much, but it is the important one. Her concluding sentence is what's getting attention: "I'm very flattered that you all are so interested in my vagina, but no means no." 

Vagina. You can see Brown's speech here, it's just a couple of minutes and it's really good. Yay, youtube!: http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=BGS9vo1avVg#!


Vagina.Members of the MI House respond in varying degrees to Lisa Brown's ban. My favorite, on The Daily Mail coverage of the story, is this quote by this guy:

"'What she said was offensive,' state Rep. Mike Callton, R-Nashville, told the Detroit News. 'It was so offensive, I don't even want to say it in front of women. I would not say that in mixed company,' he said."

Vagina. So, when you, Mr Callton, say "mixed company," you mean women? He's implying here that he would say the word "vagina" in front of other men, but in front of women, it's not appropriate? What are we, NOT the bearers of vaginas? What are we, children? 

Vagina. OH. But where was the ban for Mr. Gene Seaman of Texas when he proposed his infamous Viagra Amendment? He was joking around to make a point about health care coverage for women's health, and asks the question, "what if a man doesn't get his Viagra, maybe THAT's a catastrophic event!" He then goes on to PRETEND TO BE AN ERECTION and mockingly compare cervical cancer to not getting it up to prove to everyone that mandated health care is ridiculous.  

Vagina. While in a vacuum, it's kinda funny, because haha c'mon, Seaman?, this just shows the double standard. Which is NOT funny. You can see a group of guys behind him talking, not even batting an eye. The speaker of the house at the end just kinda laughs in his hands. A female representative in Michigan says the word vagina, the medically correct term in reference to the regulation in question, and the speaker of the house bans her from speaking again. 

Vagina. What. The. Fuck?

Vagina. But tonight, this is very exciting. A friend of mine works for the V-Day campaign, and told me yesterday that tonight, her, Eve Ensler and so far 11 female political representatives are going to perform the Vagina Monologues on the steps of the Michigan Capitol building at 5pm.

Vagina. They are: 

Rep. Lisa Brown (D-West Bloomfield)
Sen. Rebekah Warren (D-Ann Arbor)
Sen. Gretchen Whitmer (D-East Lansing)
Rep. Barb Byrum (D- Onondaga)
Rep. Stacy Erwin Oakes (D-Saginaw)
Rep. Dian Slavens (D- Canton Township)
Rep. Rashida Tlaib (D- Detroit)
Rep. Vicki Barnett (D-Farmington Hills)
Rep. Joan Bauer (D-Lansing)
Rep. Ellen Cogen Lipton (D-Huntington Woods)
Rep. Maureen Stapleton (D-Detroit)

Vagina. If you're reading this, and you're in Michigan, and you want to be a part of this, you can find the information on their facebook event, VAGINAS TAKE BACK THE CAPITOL!